April 26, 2025
I suppose it all starts with your father, the man who teaches you what men are supposed to be. Mine was gone a lot: work travel, hobbies, watching tv — avoiding angering my mother by paying more attention to us kids than her.
All the boys at school. I always dreamed of the popular guys and avoided the others who noticed me. Mother reassured me the ones I liked were out of my league.
Husband #1 I met at work. Alone in a new city, he comforted me after an earthquake shook my world. He left me for his mother and the comforts of home.
A friend introduced me to a fiancé who never made it to the altar. After all I did for him, he accused me of ignoring him because I needed a few hours sleep. I ghosted him the next day to teach him what that really looks like. He told our friends he dropped me for getting fat.
I met husband #3 at work. We were just friends.
Husband #2 stalked me at church. He was perfect on paper, but cruel once we’d pledged our eternal love.
My work-friend helped pick up the pieces after he left… eventually becoming husband number 3. Unhappy living in the shadow of the ghost of #2 cast.
Years passed. I call them my “slut phase”… men came and went, most in less than a night.
Another fiancé found in the personal ads turned out to be deep in debt and looking for a sugar mama he could knock up.
More casual sex.
Another husband found me through an online dating service. Another divorce shortly after over helping with the household chores.
Years and years of abstinence while I did my best to raise the baby to be a better kind of man.
The man I’m with now I met when I was nearly 50. We’ve been together over a decade. He wasn’t a saint, nor pretending to be. He doesn’t expect me to drop everything to care for his smallest needs. In fact, he pampers me in a way I have never known before. It was a long road to get here, but I finally found the love I always believed I deserve.